Evil Bee

Suggestions on how to amuse yourself while unsettling people around you; in a good natured way of course.

• Walk up to the altar in a church and try to blow out all the votive candles in one breath, like it's a birthday cake.
• Shout "Goodbye cruel world!" as you step off the kerb when crossing the road.
• Roll your own tampons
• Say “sweet enough already” when someone offers sugar, and “white enough already” when they offer milk
• Tell people those stickers you get on fruit are actually edible
• When you see people feeding pigeons in the park, pretend one of them is yours. Give it a name and with increasing frustration, keep calling it back.
• At a wine-tasting event, remember you should never swallow the wine. Always spit it out onto the floor.
• When driving slowly down hills in residential areas, always remember to shout “NO BRAKES!” out of the car window
• Ask for sandwich fillings while pointing at other ones
• Sit next to the only other person on an otherwise empty bus
• Hide in someone’s car boot for a medium length journey
• Try to work out where the imaginary face would be on various inanimate objects
• After taking money out of an atm, wave it around and exclaim loudly “I won!”
• Make chastity belts with Rubik's Cube locks on them, so that only the most intelligent can reproduce
• Take calls with a weary note in your voice, saying “Hello telephone, who are you pretending to be this time?”
• Swim to shore and ask the kids on the beach “Is this France?”
• Hide bubble wrap under your doormat to surprise guests
• Hide in the clothing rack at a department store and, the moment someone walks by, wave the arm of a shirt hanging there and yell “Pick me! Pick me!”